Intuitive Eating Principle #7: cope with your emotions with kindness
A Compassionate Approach to Emotional Eating
Emotional eating often gets a bad rap, but the truth is, turning to food for comfort is a natural human response. When food becomes the only way we cope with emotions, it doesn’t get to the root of the emotion and can leave us feeling disconnected from what we really need.
Intuitive Eating (IE) Principle #7, Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness, encourages us to approach our feelings with curiosity and self-compassion—not judgment.
Why Emotional Eating Happens
Emotional eating occurs for various reasons:
Stress relief: Food can temporarily soothe the body’s stress response.
Comfort: Familiar flavors may bring up feelings of nostalgia or safety.
Distraction: Eating can be a way to avoid difficult emotions you’re not ready—or not sure how—to face.
Celebration: Food is often a big part of celebrations and brings joy to our lives.
While emotional eating doesn’t make us a bad person, relying on it exclusively can prevent us from addressing the root causes of why we’re turning to food in the first place—or stop us from finding other fulfilling ways to cope.
The Problem with Diet Culture’s View of Emotional Eating
Diet culture often shames emotional eating, framing it as a sign of weakness or lack of willpower. This mindset creates guilt and keeps us stuck in a cycle of restriction, overeating, and emotional distress.
Instead of viewing emotional eating as a failure, Intuitive Eating reframes it as an opportunity to understand your emotions and practice kindness toward yourself.
How to Cope with Emotions with Kindness
Identify the Emotion
Before reaching for food, pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? Common emotions that trigger eating include stress, boredom, loneliness, or sadness.
Get Curious, Not Judgmental
Instead of criticizing yourself, approach your emotions with curiosity:
Why am I feeling this way?
Is food the only way I can address this feeling?
What do I truly need right now?
Develop a Toolbox of Coping Strategies
Food is one tool, but having other options helps you meet your needs more effectively. Consider these alternatives:
For stress: Try deep breathing, yoga, or a quick walk.
For sadness: Journal your thoughts or call a supportive friend.
For boredom: Engage in a creative hobby or tackle a small project.
For loneliness: Connect with someone you trust or spend time in a community space such as a library.
Check in with Your Body
If you’re unsure whether you’re eating out of emotion or hunger, pause midway through a snack or meal to ask yourself how your body feels. Are you still hungry, or are your emotions driving the urge to continue eating?
If You Do Emotionally Eat, Practice Self-Compassion
If you do turn to food to cope, remind yourself you’re not a bad person for doing so. Beating yourself up only adds stress. Instead, ask what you can learn from the experience and move on without guilt.
Did you just emotionally eat?
Watch this video to reduce guilt and know what steps to take to get back on your normal routine after emotional eating has already happened!
When Emotional Eating Is a Signal for Help
Sometimes, emotional eating can indicate deeper issues that require professional support, such as chronic stress, anxiety, depression, or trauma. Working with a therapist or counselor can help you explore and address these emotions in a safe space.
Building a Balanced Relationship with Food and Emotions
By coping with emotions with kindness, you’re not trying to eliminate emotional eating altogether, but rather creating space for a variety of coping mechanisms you can turn to when you need them. This balance allows food to be one way to care for yourself—without becoming your only option.
Final Thoughts
Approaching your emotions with kindness is a journey. Next time you feel the urge to eat out of emotion, pause, breathe, and ask: What do I need right now? Whether it’s food, rest, connection, or simply kindness toward yourself, honoring that need is a powerful step toward emotional resilience and self-care.
Looking to take the next step on your Intuitive Eating journey? Check out our online course, The Path to Food Freedom, where you’ll create a healthier relationship with food and learn how to navigate emotions, food, and self-care with confidence and compassion.
